No More Sex Till He’s Potty Trained!

Sir, are you potty trained? Ladies, Is your man potty trained? What do we mean by this? Simply the ability to pee in a potty and not on the floor. This also means peeing correctly into a grown up potty which we call a lavatory. Possibly an advanced idea to a certain type of male mind. Stay with me boys, I am making this as simple as possible.

How many men are able to leave a lavatory clean? Precious few? Is the sight of male egos standing, legs splayed, peeing over almost everything in sight a pleasant one? No. It is worse when they are drunk. And it gets even worse as they get older. As the eyesight goes and the legs get tottery, you get treated to lots more drips and splashes and pools. Fortunately, as time goes on, they get past the forgetting to close their flies bit and move on to the forgetting to open them approach. This is only good if they don’t live with you and you can send them home immediately.

So how can this problem be treated? Should it be? Yes, it bloody well should! Why should other people (i.e.women) clean up? Because these men don’t? Pants (and bollocks) to that! The only answer is to stop him doing it. Now why didn’t we think of that before? So how do we do this? Well, we must teach him properly. Show him that the only civilised way to pee is to sit down. All the tosspots who are wetting themselves in protest, claiming it is unnatural for men to pee sitting down deserve to have their faces rubbed on the bathroom floor after they have been in there. Who says it is natural for men to pee standing up? Only men, because it lets them adopt an arrogant, dominant stance.

There is no difficulty whatsoever in sitting down and pointing your willy down between your legs. And there is the added advantage of getting to handle it all by yourself, in private, legitimately (Do remember to pee first). No guilty jumping at a knock on the bathroom door. “Just having a pee dear!” Much, much more civilised, and possibly fun.

Come on boys, we have had enough of Mr. Primitive. Get yourselves potty trained quick in case women take this advice - “No more sex till he’s potty trained!”