Technology and Shopping – I Need (Retail?) Therapy!

I am continuing with the Technology theme, because frankly bits of it are spooking me out. I actually love technology, I’m using it now, aren’t I? It’s great being able to get just about any kind of information from the internet without having to go to the library and risk having to deal with people having a bad day (just like yesterday and just like tomorrow).

Shopping is getting harder too. Insanity rules when computers take a sulk, (although I am a great fan of online shopping). Here is a scene. I am in the supermarket and have just come through the checkout without mishap. Well, the lady who put my stuff through didn’t get my jokes but this is not unusual. I put it down to a cultural thing as I am Scottish. They get me in Scotland. In fact they often joke first. I am feeling homesick but why should you care, so back to my point.

I still need a few items which are sold separately at the kiosk near the exit.

“I’ll have one of those and two of them please” I say. (See? I’m being polite.)

I can see the goods and I have the money to pay for them right there in my hand. What could be easier, get given the items, hand over the dosh and off I go. But no…….. No……. NO…….!!!

“Sorry, I can’t sell you anything” says the ‘I consider myself too good for this job but haven’t yet proven myself good enough to get another’ assistant with what I detect as malicious satisfaction.

“Oh,” says I “and why would that be?” (this politeness thing is already wearing thin).

“Because”, she smirks, “the till isn’t working.”

“And neither are you” I think, but don’t say, as I am still hoping that a transaction may be possible. Oh what a foolish naïve girl I am that to think that available goods can be exchanged for ready money.

“Could you not give me the things and I give you the money and you can ring it through when the computer decides to play again?” Smiling through my polite teeth now.

“No I can’t do that”, with near orgasmic pleasure, ”I’m not allowed”.

So nothing can be sold. It has to go through the computer. Marvellous. I have plenty of ideas of what can go through the damned computer. Like one of those ‘cheapest-price-ever-deadly-rays-microwave-ovens’ nice and handy nearby. Or ‘Miss-I’m-too-stupid-for-even-this-job-and-I-hate-everybody-I-serve’ is an attractive choice. But I am still in control of myself.

“What would happen if I just took the goods and placed the money on the counter?” I enquire innocently.

“I would have to call Security” she replies with relish.

“So I would be in trouble?”

“Oh yes!” Delightedly.

I walk away.

So there you go. In the past you could be hanged for stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving children. Now you can be arrested for exchanging money for goods. Go figure.